Stupid Commenter Beatdown - "Wait, Wait, Don't Spoil the Ending"

"We See Dumb People"

This one comes from the normally-barren comments section of Dave White's movie reviews on the appropriately named Movies.com. Since, we here at the Persnickety Project (or PP for short) value quality over quantity this one comment from his "Secretariat" review is plenty.

White is the only movie reviewer we read and his write-up on "Secretariat" is his typical snarky stuff which he entitled "Kudos to you, rich white lady with the superhorse." His humor was apparently lost on "Tarzana Jane":

Tarzana Jane - 10-12-2010 9:19 PM
"Rich white lady with the superhorse?" Dave the lame confused headed lost his credibility. What racial image disorder must you possess to inject this irrational statement. Do you hate your white skin? If, so speak mockingly of your self loathing."

You stupid, Us Confused. Maybe we shouldn't be so confused since it's completely obvious that Mr. White's attempt to use humor to convey his opinion that the movie's plot - which focuses on Secretariat's owner, who was, in fact, a wealthy Caucasian woman - was less than inspirational, served only as a veiled reference to his self-hating "racial image disorder" (pretty sure she made that one up). For the record, he probably only hates his white skin after he forgets the SPF 75.

"I had no idea either how this film would turn out, so Yes, Big suspense for me. I was praying this massive beautiful horse would not die in the last race, or break a leg. It turned out so well. This film was the finest I've seen this year, so emotionally satisfying. Why the three stars, less than average? This is 5 PLUS in my book, I feel great, and that's all that matters after a wonderful performance and storyline. Thank you Disney for this rare HIGH QUALITY treat. Amazing movie."

No idea how it would turn out, huh? Yeah we get it, the story of the most famous horse in the history of the world (ok, maybe second behind Mr. Ed) must have been really suspenseful. We would have been totally on the edge of our seats the whole time. Is there any semi-aware person who doesn't know how it ends? Seems like that's the kind of information which would have leaked out at some point in the ALMOST 30 YEARS since the events of the movie actually happened. Still, it must be awesome to be so oblivious, makes the end of every shitty telegraphed movie seem like the first time you saw "The Usual Suspects."