Post 22 - Homophones Need Not Apply

The Star Ledger announced furloughs for its employees today. Of course, everyone took this opportunity to hate on the paper, which they apparently all read, on its own website, which they apparently all frequent. One issue of particular importance to our commenters is the apparent lack of editorial oversight.

Posted by bmc8519 on 03/23/09 at 2:48PM
"...ways to cut costs and weather the recession, ..." How much could people who don't know the difference between WEATHER and WHETHER be getting paid anyway? Maybe they should try editing their articles.

Maybe you should try reading a dictionary, stupid. Our guess is that the reporter was going for the "to bear up against and come safely through (a storm, danger, trouble, etc.): to weather a severe illness" definition of weather, especially since using "whether" would make the sentence completely nonsensical and absolute gibberish. Everyone makes mistakes with our homophones, but at least we don't post them all over the internet (we hope).

Post 21 - Burning Down the (Co-Ed Frat) House

One of the frat houses at Rutgers caught fire this week. We don't speak Greek so we're not sure what exactly makes a fraternity "co-ed" but we bet one of our esteemed commenters does.

Posted by rutgers13 on 03/23/09 at 4:05PM I think this is the gay frat actually
thats why its coed

We're rarely at a loss for words (othwrwise we'd be even worse at this blogging thing), but what the hell does that even mean? We're trying to follow this dude's though process but still, we just don't get it? Even if we bought your dumb joke, if it was an gay fraternity wouldn't all of the members be of the same sex anyway, thus making it by definition not co-ed? Way to make your university proud, dumb ass.

Post 20 - Your "Gay Center" Will Send You To Hell, Just Don't Try to Take Credit For It

This story is about Newark's (NJ) plans to start an after school program for Gay Bisexual Transgender Questioning (boy that's amouth full) teens. Who could have a problem with that? That's right, you guessed it, the bible-buddies, more specficially Ms. Jerseyfolk:

Posted by Jerseyfolk on 03/15/09 at 10:17AMI think we are living in a very very
sad state when we have to result to something like this in the world. When we
have to give in to the "sub normal" or the biblical incorrect. I do know that it
is reality though whether wrong or right. Once again Corey Booker loves to get
credit for thing he had nothing to do with ... Sharpe James start[ed] a similar
gay and lesbian outreach support organization ... As usual, Mayor Booker is a
"Johnny Come Lately" ... I personally believe that this article is a personal
disserfvice to the growing teenager whom are just exploring fads or dealing with
peer pressure.

Now, in the interest of journalistic integrity (whatever that is), we admit that we truncated the comment slightly to remove some of the less pertinent ramblings, but trust us, the stupidity has not been compromised. We love Ms. JF for one simple reason, she doesn't let her personal feelings of hatred get in the way of her politics. Sure, funding a center for gay teens is "sub normal" (love the unnecessary use of qoutes there) and you'll probably go to hell and stuff, but don't you dare try to take credit, Mayor Booker, you gosh darn Johnny Come Lately. That was Sharpe James' idea!! Do you think JK really thought that one through since she's basically saying that her boy, Sharpe James, is the one who had the idea to give in to the "sub normal"? Wonder which is stronger religion or politics. We've also seen this "being gay is a fad" thing really gaining steam on the comments. Is this for real? As if it's not bad enough that being gay is consider by some to be a sin, these poor people are now being lumped together with hula-hoops, snap braclets and the snuggie. Where will the madness end.

To lighten the mood, we bring you some bonus coverage, courtesy of Madame Tellievision.

Posted by tellievision on 03/15/09 at 8:15PMI don't care what gay people do as
long as they are not doing it to me! I'm female and although you men get on my
ever loving last nerve, I still love you to death! LOL! I dare a woman to even
act like she wants to cross the line with me. AND I'm gorgeous? Oh hell no! LOL!
Sorry ladies but I love men!

I'm sure all of the lesbians out there are shedding a tear knowing that they could never have this catch. Sorry Ladies!!! LOL! I hope she knows we're all LOLing at her, not with her.

Post 19 - Cananda Blamed as Actress Dies in Tragic Skiing Accident

Now, we (or at least part of us) really has no idea who Patricia Richardson was. We hear she was in Nell. You might remember Nell as the movie where Jodie Foster went "full retard" and killed her career (Flight Plan? Nim's Island? Really Jodie? Weren't you an Oscar winner once?). Anyway, the fact that we don't know who she was doesn't make her death any less tragic (anyone dying sucks, right? it's not just sad when its famous people, at least they get an Oscar for their troubles) and it's logical to look for someone to blame. In this instance, the obvious culprit is ... Canada?

Just theFactsMaam wrote:Perhaps Canada's socialized health system is at fault
here? She falls on snow and bumps her head and now she's near death? Let's see
what happens when she gets to a real hosipital here in America. While there are
still real hospitals here in America.

For someone who is apparently concerned with facts, this dumbass appears pretty comfortable throwing out unsupported accusations. This women fell, hit her head and died and its socialized medicine's fault? What facts exactly is he basing that on? Obviously none that have anything to do with the realities of head trauma. And guess what happens when she got to a "real hospital", the same damn thing that would have happened in any hospital. The icing on the cake of course is the not so subtle dig at the new administration in the last sentence. Just goes to show that stupid political opinions can find there way into even the saddest of stories. You need further proof? Let's check out what Senor Marknspar has to contribute.

Marknspar wrote:Jezza Bell, why do the "Fun Police "( Thats liberals)
always come out calling for regulation on EVERYTHING people do for fun.
Leave us alone. You wear a frickin' helmet when you ski. You'll look the
part of the idiot that you are. You take care of you and I'll take care of
me.

Watch out everybody, it's the Fun Police!! Hide the Parcheesi! What a
goddamn moron. Where glad he explained what he meant by fun
police, cause we NEVER would have guessed he meant thos evil liberals.
Hopefully those liberals will hear the call of the non-helmet wearing masses and
get rid of those dumb safety regulations so people don't look like idiots.
We tend to think though that the people running around with their brains leaking
out of their heads are the ones that look dumb but at least they take care of themselves.

Post 18 - Teachers Sleeping With Kids: Normal Like Porn, Not Scarier than Northern Ireland

Here's a story about a female teacher who engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Now, normally we would pull a comment from some homophobic dipshit quoting the bible and calling the teacher a sinner, but not today. Today we look at two comments from Mr. Moveout, which, despite his appallingly ridiculous examples seem to support gays. We were so surprised we had to bring them to your attention, it's like seeing a white tiger in the wild. Let's get to it:

Why would they have needed to go to SF there are many cities closer to Saratoga
where same sex marrages were performed, perhaps Saratoga had a few. What would be wrong with teens observing normal folk acting civilized? Yes homosexual and
bi-sexual relationships are normal human behaviour and if you have ever watched
any porn one would think that among women more common than exclusive
heterosexual sex.

Part of the christian confusion I believe can be traced to
Adam and Eve. Adam was the first homosexual as he was the only male human in the universeI (I wonder what he thought his penis wasto be used for) and when Eve
popped in he was tappng her when she was like what one day old and his sibling
or genetically modified clone to boot.

Ok, so we were with him (sort of) through the first two sentences but around sentence 31/2 the wheels really start shaking. No doubt that those types of relationships are normal but is porn really the best evidence he could come up with to illustrate his point. Couldn't he come up with some statistics or even point to Ellen and Portia if he was desperate. All of this misses the obvious point that people in porn are "actors" so the amount of girl-on-girl action better reflects the fetishes of dudes then the prevalence of lesbian relationships. At least he's trying, right?

The wheels come completely off in the second paragraph. We're not even sure where to go with this one. Adam was a homosexual incestuous pedophile? I guess that could cause some confusion for people. I would imagine the whole the world started in a garden with two kids and a snake thing might be confusing as well, but Mr. Moveout has obviously thought his theory through. Finally, we're guessing Adam might have thought his penis was for peeing, just a guess though.

On to the second pearl of Moveout wisdom:

moveoutt
Joined: Mar 2007Posts: 2178
Your delusion begins with that
predators are a siginificant worry. While you are worryingabout predators and
protecting your kids against what is a very small threat. I worry about my kid
being in Northern Ireland working with childrens groups trying to find common
ground between Protestant and Catholic schoolkids.
Your life, as reflected in
your posts, is full of all kinds of fear and on top of that you expect the
government to protect you from those fears and never expect to pay for those
services that for the most part are not not needed in the first place.

Ok, so after reading a story that mentions several teachers acting inappropriately towards children, Moveout decided, eh, that's really not a big deal, no need to worry about that parents when there's unrest in Northern Ireland. We can thank Moveout for really putting things in perspective. Our biggest question is, does he actually have a child currently living in Northern Ireland or is he just imagining that someday he might have one and someday that kid might want to go to Northern Ireland to work with kids and then he'd be worried? Based on his Adam-Eve theory we'd bet he's got a pretty vivid imagination and if his kid listens to that type of bible interpretation, that the Catholics and Protestants schoolkids might find some common ground giving his kid a wedgie.

Post 17 - Imus Has Nappy-Headed Prostate

So it's never happy news to hear that someone got cancer, even if, in
some people's minds that guy is a hood-carrying racist, right?
Apparently not so much for this newzjunkie (get it it's like news with a z):

you reap what you sow, god dont like ugly.
Posted by newzjunkie47 on Mar 16,
2009 9:29 AM

First, "you reap what you sow", did he sow cancer? That would be a weird choice for a cash crop. Anyway, we guess Z is trying to say is "what goes around comes around" but, since when is a life-threatening disease the proper karmic retribution for making a really bad joke and getting fired enough. Anything beyond him being called a "Wrinkly-Assed Old Pedophile" during the NCAA tournament seems like a bit of overkill to us. We are on board with the "god don't like ugly" thing though. Preach on, Brother Z.

While we're on this article, we wanted to quickly point out how the esteemed Reverend Al seems to find a way into the comments of any remotely racial story, only to be followed by an
> Obama-related/covertly-racist comment. We're joining to coin this one the "Racial Comment Two-Step.

Step 1:

All good to Imus for a full recovery. He's got a good attitude, if
not anything else. At least Imus apologized for HIS comments, unlike
some "reverend" who has yet to apologize for his.
Posted by patkeepsie391 on Mar 16, 2009 9:18 AM

Now to Step 2:

cyberkatt420 , You sound like a typical Obama supporter. Best of Luck to
you Imus!! God Speed recovery. Posted by stkbkr on Mar 16, 2009 9:16 AM

For a little background, it appears Ms. Cyberkatt420 (get it 420) said something to the effect of, we're paraphrasing here, "Imus is the most evil person in the world and should die of cancer for what he said", i.e. you reap what you sow. Mr. Stkbkr took offense to her comments and labeled her a dreaded "typical Obama supporter", again we're paraphrasing but we think he meant at the very least that she was black. Maybe the "N"-word is being replaced with much more subtle euphemisms like this one.

Post 16 - I won't stand for that kind of reverse discrimination. I prefer the regular, unreversed kind.

Here's a nice little story about a black couple in the suburbs of Chicago that has decided to conduct a minor social experiment and only shop at black owned businesses for one year. They say it's their way of supporting their community and trying to give back. Or is it, as many posters have claimed, just a case of racism? Sometimes it's hard to tell. But not in this case:

Aryan Nation
United States
Reply »
|Report Abuse |#2120 9 hrs ago
If they want to shop at these stores, they should move back to Africa, where they belong.

Okay, besides being an obvious racist, you're also a fucking idiot. How are they going to shop at THESE stores if they move to Africa? They're already driving 14 miles for groceries. You expect them to move to another continent and still be able to shop there? That doesn't sound very practical. Especially if they like ice-cream. And the article clearly states that the wife is from Miami and the husband from Detroit. So how can they go BACK to Africa when they're not even from there? It would be like us suggesting you go BACK to the "Aryan nation." It just wouldn't make any sense because you can't actually do that since it only exists in your own fucked up, demented head.

Post 15 - PERV GROUP PUTS 10G 'HIT' ON ANDY

So apparently NAMBLA tried to put out a $10,000 hit on NY Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. I guess that's what he gets for stepping outside the party line of apparently being cool with diddling kids:

Chocolate_Cracker wrote:
Its great to see Democrats turning on each other.
The child raping wing of the Democratic party feels in power with the great Obama in the White House.
I am sure NAMBLA hopes the economy whithers on the vine so people sell them kids to molest.

Democrats, YOU HAVE TO LOVE THEM....LOL

"Child raping wing" of the Demcratic party? Hmm. We've never heard of that before. It must be one of those top secret party wings like the Republicans' "foot tapping for sex in airport bathrooms" wing or the wing that thinks Ann Coulter is attractive. Either way, selling kids to be molested just doesn't sound like a good business plan. Because we're guessing that, at most, NAMBLA members want to rent by the hour. Or maybe go in on some sort of time share. Variety is the spice of life after all. But we're not really sure how they're going to be able to afford that type of thing when they're too busy paying to take out hits on politicians--even the Democrats. Ah, Democrats. You really do have to love them. And their kids too.

Post 14 - Widowed Immigrant Seeks Residency, Attorneys and Obama to Blame

File this one under the heading of "Everyone Hates Everyone Who's Not Like Them." This woman came to the US legally from Jamaica, got married and then her husband died in a ferry accident before she could become a citizen. Only one way to solve this problem. Deport her ass! And our plan would have worked too if it wasn't for you pesky lawyers:

koani07 (0 friends, send message) wrote: 6h 54m ago
And once again the scum of a bucket lawyer thinks they are doing what is
right...How about thinking what is right for the WHOLE country, not just one or
two ( in this case 170) people. America is sorry for the lost rof your loved
ones, however a LAW is a LAW. Didn't lawyers become lawyers to defend the laws
of this nation? Seems to me they have forgotten a simple thing here, Our laws are here to protect this country, Stop bending them to make it better
for your client. Hope you have a nice and safe trip home..

Somehow we don't really think this guy really hopes she has a nice trip home. I wonder if anyone gets on his case for making McNuggets all day. Lawyers can't detroy society singlehadedly, they need some help from highher up.

Bobc (2 friends, send message) wrote: 5h 52m ago
Bush and Republicans were going for the "let's get more voters and grant amnesty to everyone here"...till the public let their voices be knownThe Dems will do what they want...Obama needs more voters and more unskilled, uneducated to vote for him.We are getting fleeced right and left...it's bad enough to get fleeced by our government and lazy neighbors, but also forced to pay for the whole world's people.Welcome to
the another 3rd world country! Where Obama's plans are fulfilled.....everyone
poor on the same level.

Why doesn't this guy save the keystrokes and just say he hates anyone who's not white. At least then he'd be an honest racist and not just a unsubtle one.

Post 13 - Gunmen Attack Defense Sri Lankan Cricket Team, Muslims Declared "Lower-Life Form"

It goes without saying that this was a cowardly attack but we think this guy might be using a bit too broad of a brush.

Sherlund (1 friends, send message) wrote: 4d 7h ago
TimLA (0 friends, send message) wrote: 22m ago
Seriously, does anyone need any more proof that muslims are a lower life
form?

Actually Islam does not want its followers from paticipating in sports,
music, dancing,etc as it is a distraction from their primary task of persecuting
women and non-muslims.

Lower life form? Really? Lower than someone who posts retarded generalizations on a the USA Today website. My guess is this dude should stick to the orange and purple sections of the paper, by his logic he'll never run into any muslims there.

Post 12 - Mayor Closes Schools at Last Minute, Thousands Die ... Wait that's not what happened at all

Bloomberg closes NYC schools for the first time in years but the last minute nature seemed to have left people scrambling and none too happy. Those people are certainly open to criticism for not being prepare and after navigating the treacherous New Jersey Turnpike during last week's snow storm, we're TOTALLY feeling the Hurricane Katrina comparison:

Gov watcher wrote:Hmmmm, just like in Katrina........ weather reports predict
major stormon the way but these whiny parents from Park Slope failed to
prepare.Parents have a responsibility when they bring kids into the world.
Thismeans that you have to make your own plans when the schools get closed.But
in NYC, people expect city government to do everything for them,including raise
their kids for them. 3/3/2009 9:23 AM EST

It's easy to blame people who weren't prepared for a flood of biblical (fablical?) proportions to the same extent as parents who were pissed when the mayor closes school at the last minute.

Post 11 - Brown Suge

Just when we thought we'd had enough of the ChRianna saga, everyones favorite something or other Suge Knight has thrown his support behind Mr. Brown. Just the kind of guy you want in your corner when you're trying to distance yourself from a DV rap. Looks like someone else wants a spot on the SuBrown bandwagon:

5. Honestly - as pathetic as Chris Brown may be...Rihanna is a ZERO in my eyes now. What a loser for getting back together with the guy. I will not buy any product being touted by Rihanna. BOYCOTT RIHANNA! BOYCOTT RIHANNA! The girl ought to lose millions of dollars in endorsement deals if she's this stupid.
Posted at 12:55PM on Mar 3rd 2009 by BOYCOTT RIHANNA!

Just so we're clear, we should all get together and use our combined economic might to show Rianna so that she loses all her endorsement deals. Not really sure what the end game is here but punishing Rianna for getting beat up by her boyfriend by trying to bankrupt her certainly makes sense. We sure won't be buying any .... what does she sell again? umbrellas?

Post 10 - So You're Saying I Can't Ply Cheerleaders With Alcohol and Make Them Pole Dance? Really? Really? You Sure About That?

This one is a gem brought to us byPrecious Petty about the "coolest dad in the world." We think this guy is still trying to figure out what went wrong. He should know that god doesn't approve of this sort of thing, or does he?

Posted by LionOfJudah on 02/28/09 at 10:46AM
Pro 25:9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; and discover not a secret to another:
Mat 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

We're no biblical scholars, but is the bible basically (according to the LionOfJudah - isn't a wrestling nickname) saying us "Don't Snitch." Looks like Carmelo was just in that video as a messenger of god.

Frank 43:8 "And the Lord sayeth "'Don't Snitch' or thou shalt be snitched upon" ... Amen ... Praise his name."

god = jello.

Post 9 - Woman Married 23 Times, Time for a Constitutional Amendement

This woman was married 23 times (and she's only 68!!) including a Baptist minister, two gay men, a homeless guy and a convict accused of rape. Sounds like she ran the gamut. Good thing those two gay guys didn't marry each other, that would have brought the universe to an end. Anyway, this commenter raises a point (eventually) that most of us probably would have missed:

Posted by VodkaOnRocks on 02/27/09
at 5:10PM
I have a few questions to ask and then I'll comment....
What
in the world is this lady on???
More importantly, what are the guys
on???
Who would marry a woman knowing she's been down the aisle more than
twice and has 7 children???
Now for my comment:
This lady must be good at
"you-know-what" to keep make these guys drag her and her clan to the chapel.

Actually, we don't know what. Cooking, bridge, country line dancing, the balance beam, pong, making hand-made pen stands, freestyle rap. Just too many choices. Damn you VodkaOnRocks, just tell us, we can't figure these things out on our own!!


By the way, what is this lady on? (get it)

Post 8 - Calif. Mayor Who Sent White House Watermelon Patch E-Mail Quits

Los Alamitos, CA Mayor Dean Grose is resigning after emailing a racist cartoon to his friends....including Keyanus Price, a black female city volunteer. Pretty dumb of him, right? Well, we've seen dumber courtesy of steve34609:

by steve34609 [Feb 27, 2009 7:04:51 PM]
mrburns...you are fishing for my political afiliation.You will not get it.However,you will get a comment on the recent behavior of the heroine of this little anecdote.To describe the mayor's official position,she described him as the city-FREAKIN-mayor. A public statement like this makes those companies that she works with for (whose?)"future" look a little sleazy. Maybe she is a professional black,using publicity and victimization to enhance her career and the positions of blacks in this country vis others? Maybe said companies should re-evaluate her postions with them,considering her foul language and poor representation of their good names?I know a political smear job when I see one. I don't care too much about google searches...google fixed the searches against bush and in favor of obama.We all know that.Anyone that uses a google search as a primary source of evidence is a poor researcher or a propagandist.as Lincoln once said...but you can't fool all of the people all of the time... Here are your words quoted below.Also,refer to my previous posting here for more on my position on this matter. Do the same googled search for Price and you will find a woman that has worked her life to give to the community, working along side notable companies aiding the future on a local/national level.

First, we like the way that he refers to Ms. Price as a "professional black." Personally, we're tired of hearing about all the amateur blacks out there and applaud Ms. Price for having the guts to go pro. Then there's Steve's shock at her using the word "freakin" to describe the mayor's position. So, just to clarify...cartoon of watermelons on the White House lawn? Totally cool. PG faux "swear" words? Over the line!! It's a good thing Ms. Price didn't say "darn" or "fudge" or poor Steve might have had to block Fox News so his kids weren't exposed to her awful profanity. Finally, we love how he starts off his commentary by saying he won't reveal his political "afiliation" and then goes on to accuse Google of fixing its searches against Bush and in favor of Obama (I guess neither Steve nor the folks at Google were aware that Obama actually ran against JOHN MCCAIN.) But congrats, Steve, on successfully hiding your political leanings. Given that you're posting on Fox News and that you hate Obama we can only assume you're still bitter over Hillary's primary defeat. We feel your pain.