Things We Hate - The Superiority of ESPN's College Football Coverage



You think this is the worst we could come up with? 
Not so fast my friend, it could be Chris Berman.

There are many reasons to love the weekend (the lack of working, sleeping in, not having to go to work, breakfast in bed, did we mention not working?) but at the top of our list is sitting around and watching hours and hours of football.  Since we watch both college and the pro we're engulfed in gridiron goodness for the better part of 48 hours.  While people will often debate which is type is better, what's not up for debate is that when it comes to ESPN's coverage, college is far superior.  Period.  To us the difference between the two exactly what's wrong with The Monolith - they've completely lost their focus.  At some point, ESPN decided that it no longer wanted to cater its pro sports coverage to true fans but rather wanted to attract those casual viewers that all sports-centric endeavors seem to covet.   
College Gameday, ESPN's pre-game show, is (with the exception of the fabricated "Big and Rich" intro song where they jam all sorts of ill-fitting football references into their song.  Side point, these guys are just a novelty act right?  We can't be expected to take a band seriously when it features all of the following ridiculousness - a guy with a big silly hat (it's funny cause its bigger than a regular hat), a rapping cowboy and a midget) absolutely pitch perfect.  For years they resisted the urge to overstuff the show and stuck with the 3 man desk of Fowler, Herbstreit and Corso, only adding Desmond Howard after Corso became all stroked out.    Fowler's the maestro, balancing the potentially overwhelming crowd enthusiasm with the pace needed to to break down 30+ games a week.  Herbstreit, despite being completely hateable at first glance (perfect hair, good looking guy, former Ohio State QB), is knowledgeable and smooth and won us over by not taking himself too seriously.  He's become the breakout star of the show, leveraging it into the lead analyst position for ABC's Saturday night game.  Then there's the "Sunshine Scooter" Lee Corso.  For us, he was always the gem of the show, but unfortunately, since his stroke last year he hasn't been able to keep up, leading to the addition of Howard.  What do these four guys do when they get together?  Talk football for two hours.  Sure, they throw in the occasional puff piece here and there but the producers never seem to lose their target for long.   It's football coverage for fans who can concentrate, not for casual or non-fans with short attention spans.  Add in their superb "College Scoreboard" team of Reece Davis, Lou Holtz and Mark May, who sit around and do highlights and (gasp!) have open-ended discussions about the days games, and you can't go wrong when you throw on an ESPN network  on a Saturday.

On Sunday and Monday its a whole different story.  We used to absolutely love NFL Countdown and while it's still better than the Yuck-Fest's put on by CBS and Fox (look its Frank Caliendo doing George W Bush pretending to be John Madden making football picks.  Shoot us in the head.  Please.)  it's become more about the personalities of its 237 hosts then the actual games.  Sure Tom Jackson at least attempts to be knowledgeable and well-rounded, but we're growing painfully tired of Keyshawn's attitude shtick, Chris Carter's infatuation with the wide-receiver position (we get it, you played the position, time to move on), and Ditka's tough guy act.  Berman is Berman, at least you know what you'll get from him, a bad suit, some love of the Buffalo Bills (nobody circles the wagons like .. oh, go fuck yourself) and a few completely ridiculous points delivered like he's giving away the untold secrets of "Lost."  The best part of the show for us is the simmering hatred between Mort and Schefter as they're apparently forced to sit together on a love seat to give their alternating reports of little importance.  The worst part is that the show hasn't necessarily fallen into the same over-endorsement trap of every other ESPN show, meaning it fails on a whole separate level.  Maybe it's a function of sheer numbers but all of the conversations on the show always seem clipped, almost scripted with everyone playing their "role."  God forbid they actually have a conversation.  Does ESPN think the people who choose to watch a multi-hour pregame show on the channel that doesn't even have the game they're going to watch, want to hear predictable two word answers from the analysts?  No, we're football fans and we tune in looking for (hoping) in depth, sometimes even technical, thoughts on the games and stories by guys with knowledge we don't have.  We don't need to hear a "discussion" about whether Randy Moss where everyone declares, yes or no.  We know he's an ass, we can figure that one out all by ourselves, thanks.  What we can't necessarily figure out alone is why he's been less effective this season (and no, it's not cause he's an ass). 

There is one bright spot, one beacon of hope in the fog of personalities, is the reconfigured NFL Primetime.  After ESPN got the Monday Night Football deal, they had to give up the Sunday night package which apparently included exclusive access to the extensive NFL highlight packages. The result of that change, in addition to the Tony Dungy Holier Than Thou Hour that is "Football Night in America", is the new four man panel discussion that Primetime has become.  Growing up, Primetime was a must watch and TJ and Boomer did all the highlights and talked the games through.  Now, in the absence of such abundant highlights, TJ and Boomer, joined by Dilfer and, for some reason John Saunders, are forced to do real breakdowns, not rushed by time constraints.  The tone is appropriately muted, the chemistry is solid and the analysis is top notch, much like, you guessed it, their college football coverage.  So, we know it translates, if only ESPN could figure that out.