Things We Hate - That Creepy Geico Commercial

Are we the only ones who are a little creeped out by this commercial?  We generally like these commercials (where does he keep his wallet and cellphone, he's soo tiny!) but this one is just weird.  For those who work at companies who think they're operating on the eastern side of the Berlin wall, here's the setup - The Gecko is chilling in some hotel with the senile old guy, when he's confronted by a middle-aged woman and then this:

WOMAN: YOU! OH, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE ME! TOLEDO, '03?

GECKO: NO, IT'S...I...

WOMAN: IT'S TOO LATE STANLEY.

GECKO: ACTUALLY, MISS, MY NAME'S NOT STANLEY.

WOMAN: OH...OH, I AM SO SORRY! FROM BEHIND YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM. I'M JUST....[RUSHES AWAY]

GECKO: WELL...I'D HATE TO BE STANLEY.

Shit, we'd hate to be either of them, there are no winners in this one.  How exactly are you supposed to take this commercial?  The obvious implication is that this woman hooks up with a lizards, right?  If not all the time, at least once, she was so desperate for affection while on the road that she and a small, green reptile named Stanley shared a magical night together after he gave her the eye in a hotel bar.  Of course, since he's by nature a slimy little bastard, Stanley didn't even have the common decency to call.  Now she's a woman scorned.  Sure, we know that crazy shit happens in Toledo, but that's totally weird, right? It's like some twisted version of "Up In the Air."  We can't be the only ones who got that.  There wasn't anybody in the pitch meeting who was paying attention enough to say, "hey guys, perhaps we should rethink this one, maybe tone down the bestiality angle just a tad?"  Creepy.

Even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and go beyond the obvious "woman sleeps with gekko" angle, are we supposed to think she had a fling with some dude named Stanley who just happens to look like the Gekko?  If so, that makes Stanley is a 6 inch tall, bald super-midget with some weird skin disease.  Is that really any less creepy?

To be free from such disturbing imagery, you have to get all theoretical and deep.  Not to turn the Geico commercials into "Lost" or anything, but what about the theory (and by "theory" we mean totally made up by us) that the old guy - we'll call him Mr. Geico - is actually "Stanley."  Maybe his dementia has gotten so bad that the he created The Gekko - a manifestation of his subconscious which he sincerely believes is real - and now he's touring the country openly talking to himself and telling people that he's getting such great business advice from his friend.  But, since he's just a harmless old man and everyone kinds feels bad for him, plus this is the most exciting thing to ever happen at a insurance conference, they just let him go about his business and smile politely.  At the end of the run, we'll get a 60-second spot where he realizes the whole thing was in his imagination and we see all the scenes with just him talking and no Gekko.  It'll be just like "Fight Club."  Great theory, right?  No?  Yeah, we don't buy it either, this shit is just plain creepy.

The Persnickety Project - Changing the Way You Watch Commercials Since 2010.

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