Fantasy Football - You Ruined My F'n Day - Week 9



Check out the picture from our new company ID.

 As we mentioned, we got a job.  It's a temp thing reviewing documents, but its work so that's all good.  As part of the interview process (it was a group interview) they had us to a little Socratic-method type thing where we discussed how we'd analyze certain sample documents. No big deal, right?  Well, as part of the process, the interviewers gave the group opportunities to chime in with additional thoughts on the docs.  Anyone who knows us knows that volunteering to talk in front of a group of people is about as fun for us as being beaten with a bamboo cane. 

Yet, for some reason, be it desperation or delirium or what, once the session started we found ourselves almost bounding out of our chair to provide key insights like "We'd say that document is privileged" or "We'd recommend coding that as a hot doc."  We got the job so maybe it was worth it but, for that performance, we ruined our own f'n day.  F us. 

On the bright side, upon hearing the story one of our good friends decided to change the our ring tone on their phone to Tobias Funke's "Douche Chills" line from Arrested Development.  Too bad we never call anybody, the jokes on him!!

On the the football guys ...

1.  Darrell Revis, CB, New York Jets;

After a hold-out that saw him miss the entire preseason and a predictable hamstring injury following said holdout that slowed him the first 8 weeks of the season, Week 9 saw the return to Revis Island (we’re picturing a drunk, strung out Rex Ryan yelling “We have to go Back” at Revis outside JFK airport). In his first week back to shadowing the opponent’s top target, Revis was at his best, absolutely shutting down Calvin Johnson, aka Megatron, (1 catch, 13 yards).  While Johnson is sure to bounce back (even if he’s held back a little by Stafford’s continued shoulder issues. At least Shaun Hill is healthy!?!), we’re seeing a lot of weak performances for big names remaining on the Jets schedule. It’s hard to ever recommend sitting a stud but a match-up with Revis at least gives you pause.  Of course, since Burleson went nuts against the other d-backs (7 for 113 and a touch) if you've got a #2 against the Jets, maybe he becomes a must-start.
2.  Wes Welker, WR, New England Patriots;

Back in the olden days when Randy Moss was only on his second team this season, we wondered what effect his departure would have on everyone’s favorite gritty little Patriots receiver, Mr. Wes Welker.  Early returns were good with Welker pulling in 8 balls in game 1 A.M (After Moss) but since then he’s been a fantasy non-factor. Averaging about 3 catches for 30 yards (including this week’s 4 for 36) and continuing his refusal to score touchdowns. Even in PPR leagues (which have always been his forte) he’s not getting it done. We’re not suggesting you panic and cut him or anything but if you can trade him on name value, we wouldn’t rule it out.

3.  Peyton Hillis, RB, Cleveland Browns;

Apparently Peyton Hillis is an absolute stud. In a league that abhors workhouses like nature abhors a vacuum (which is almost as much as The Mrs.), the Battleship (we, like Mike Golic, have noticed the guns) absolutely thugged the Pats on Sunday with 184 yards on 29 (!) carries with 2 TDs. With that performance (after a few down weeks, topping out at 69 yards) we’re officially convinced that he’s going to be the “Undrafted Guy Who Wins People Their Leagues” due to his propensity to score (7 of 8 games with a TD). In addition to his obvious skills, owners should rest easy with this guy in their line-ups because, even though Cleveland kind of stinks, they always always run the ball.  That alone should give you piece of mind, something not often found in the fantasy game.

4.  Brett Favre, QB, Minnesota Vikings;

Oh Brett. Why can’t you just go away? We thought it was over when we saw you hanging around the waiver wire in our leagues. We thought it was over when we left you on the bench behind Jon Kitna (yeah, we know, terrible call). Nope, just as we thought the long national nightmare was over, the gun slingin, wheenus-pic takin’n, croc-wearin, souther-drawl’n, coach killin’, pick-throwin’, like-a-kid-out-there bein’ old man led the Vikes to a ridiculous 4th quarter comeback and threw for a career-high (that’s right, in his 19th year, even the skeptics are impressed) 446 yards. Of course, he still threw 2 picks but he is apparently still worthy of fantasy consideration. We’re not ones to put it past him to put together a strong run of games to end the season (particularly if they keep throwing shorter passes) and if he does, he could be a difference maker for your team. Even without Moss on Sunday, the offense looked ok, Percy Harvin continues to excel (9 catches for 126 yards), Sidney Rice may be back soon and we even had a Bernard Berrian sighting (9, 89). If you’re stuck with a struggling QB or stupidly entrusted your team in Favre early on, take notice.

5.  Ray Rice, RB, Baltimore Ravens;

Finally ... we guess.  Not sure what it says about our reconfigured expectations for the greatest player in Rutgers football history but Sunday's performance (22 carries for 83 yards plus 7 catches for 97 yards) is certainly cause for excitement for Rice owners.  Rice's rushing performances have been only mediocre this season (only a single 100 yard game) but that's not his what makes him special anyway.  What set Rice apart last season was his ability to catch the ball out of the backfield and accumulate all that sneaky extra yardage (and points in PPR leagues).  After racking up 78 catches for over 700 yards last season he's only on pace for 60 and less than 500 this year.  If his 7 catches mark a return to his prior form, owners can go back to expecting what they paid for at the start of the season - a dominant #1 running back.

6.  Eli Manning, QB, New York Giants;

We've avoided talking about Eli's excellent start to the season for fear of jinxing him but after another excellent performance (290 yards, 3 TDs) in Seattle this week (note to Seahawk fan, whoever you are, Charlie Whitehurst might look like jesus but he's not your savior), we can't fight the feeling anymore.  At the halfway point in the season, Eli sits in the Top 5 in completion percentage (65% a big step up from his career 57%) and touchdowns, Top 10 in yards and quarterback rating and has thrown 2 or more touchdowns in 6 of 8 games.  Having watched the games, we can tell you most of the 11 picks weren't his fault.  He's on pace to set career highs in yards (4,150) and touchdowns (34) and has made himself from a borderline rosterable guy to a bonafide fantasy starter.  So, what's the catch?  We didn't bring you all the way out here just to tell you how much we love little Manning, did we?  The catch is that Eli's had hot starts before but has always cooled down with the weather.  Once the winds and the New Giants Stadium start kicking up, we'll know whether this is his true breakout or just another version of the same old story. 

7.  The Good, The Who and The WFT, Various;

The Good comes in the form of one Jacob Tamme, the Colts new tight end.  Maybe Dallas Clark wasn't all that special after all, apparently the Colts can just plug anyone in and go about their business. After a solid debut performance (6 catches, 64 yards, 1 TD), Tamme exploded against the Eagles with performance that rivals any we've seen by a TE so far this season this side of Antonio Gates - 11 catches, 108 yards, 1 TD.  To top it off he was targeted an amazing 17 times by Sir Peyton.  If you haven't gotten him by now, unless you have the aforementioned Gates, pick him up immediately.

The Who is Archbishop Syi Ajiritutu, the wide receiver from San Diego.  The 6' 3" 211 lb rookie from Fresno State filled it admirably for the Chargers 1st-63st string receivers with 111 yards and 2 TDs on only 5 catches.  After big performances from guys like Malcolm Floyd, Patrick Crayton and Legadu Naanee, the lesson is, if you need a guy, start whoever you think might be the Chargers #2 target (behind Gates of course) in any given week might be. 


The WTF goes to our boy Steve Johnson the bills wideout.  We can't quite get our minds around the fact that the Bills a team with a complete lack of a running attack and the only winless team in the league have actually produced guys who can be fantasy contributors.  In addition to Mr. Ivy League, Ryan Fitzpatrick, who keeps stretching his 15 minutes of fantasy relevance beyond any logical limit, Johnson has caught touchdown passes in 5 of 8 games and had two huge performances, including this weeks 11 for 145.  Like we said, WTF?

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