Real Football - The Persnickety Project's 2011 NFL Mock Draft - Version 1.0

Just look at this man's face.
This is serious business.

Back when we were in law school one of our favorite things while sitting in class was to do mock drafts.  We'd get together with our buddy Andrew and do version after version.  We wouldn't pay a seconds worth of attention to what the professor was saying.  We can't help but look at that as time well spent, particularly as we look at the ruins of our law career.  Anyway!

Now that we're a highly unprofessional blogger, we figured it was time to bring our back and forth with our newest contributing writer to our adoring fans. Without further ado, the Persnickety Project presents:

The Persnickety Project's 2011 NFL Mock Draft - Version 1.0

At this early junction, we fully expect the specific players to change but the road map should remain viable.

1. Carolina Panthers, 2-14

Team Needs:  WR, DE, DT, CB, OLB, G, C, All new players

Da'Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson, 6'4", 280 lbs

Carolina fans now understand what the Jets went through in 1996 when Peyton Manning decided to return to Tennessee for his senior season rather than join Bill Parcells in New York, a move that changed the fortunes of two franchises.  Keyshawn was a good pro but he wasn't Peyton.  To have a potential franchise QB and possible savior decide to stay in school is bad enough, but here the talent drop is big.  Sure, Bowers is a great player, and the best pass rusher in the draft, and he might very well be a pro-bowler but nothing he can do will come to close to the hope associated with what Luck could have been.  Still, Carolina needs to revamp its D and the versatile Bowers is a good start.  Can play end or tackle, 4-3 or 3-4 and he gets into the backfield and after the quarterback.  Could provide some of the play making lost when Peppers departed for Chicago.  Fairley, Quinn and Green are also possibilities.

2. Denver Broncos, 4-12

Team Needs:  LB, DT, OLB, The resurrection of John Elway

Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU, 6'1", 211 lbs

It's hard to pass up Fairly who plays one of the more "premium positions" at defensive tackle but with the Broncos currently playing a 3-4, Fairley's not an ideal fit. If the new coach they bring in switches to a 4-3, Fairley becomes the pick.  However, we're constrained to what's going right know so we see them grabbing the best CB prospect and potential heir apparent to Champ Bailey (and a potential devastating tandem with Champ if he is resigned).  Peterson has the size, speed and return skills to contribute immediately in multiple areas.  His downside is relatively low as well; if the concerns about his top-end speed are realized, he can seamlessly move to become a top-end safety.

3.  Buffalo Bills, 4-12

Team Needs: QB, OT, DE, OLB, SS, Hope

Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn, 6'4", 299 lbs

The emergence of Ryan Fitzpatrick as a serviceable NFL quarterback gives the Bills the luxury to not reach for a QB at this stage and take the top DT in the draft.  Fairley, a part-time player last season who shot up draft boards during Auburn's magical run, gives Buffalo the penetrating inside stud they need to get into the backfield and disrupt. Dominated good o lines in the SEC and provides versatility to fit into the Bills multiple 4-3/3-4 front.

4. Cincinnati Bengals, 4-12

Team Needs:  QB, RB, DE, T, S, MLB, New ownership
Robert Quinn, DE/OLB, North Carolina, 6'4", 254 lbs

The  Bengals are delusional. After yet another disappointing season, they're bring back Marvin Lewis (to save money, no doubt) and will likely do the same with inconsistent Carson Palmer (are we all ready to admit he hasn't been the same since Kimo Von Oelhoffen destroyed his knee?).  Those moves likely take them out of the running for a 1st round quarterback, and a chance at remaking their identity as a perpetually disappointing franchise.  Still, reinforcements are needed on defense and Quinn, who sat out the entire season due to NCAA violations, is a solid pass rushing prospect who should, at the very least, contribute immediately as a situational pass-rushed the Bengals need.  The NCAA issues notwithstanding, Quinn is considered a high-character player and exceptionally hard-worker (he worked his way back from a brain tumor his senior year in high school) and has all the tools to become a dominant end.

5. Arizona Cardinals 5-11

Team Needs: QB, CB, OLB, T, G, A ruffie to forget the Derek Anderson era

Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska, 6', 203 lbs

The Cardinals need help at QB but seem more likely to go the veteran route since they inhabit an eminently winnable division and we assume Wisenhunt likes his job and wouldn't want to wait on a rookie's development (Matt Hasselbeck?).  They have needs all over the offensive line and all over the defense and got a little unlucky with a that none of the Top 4 defenders fell.  They'd pounce on any of the top linemen but in this scenario they still get an excellent cover corner with superior technical acumen, size and ball skills.  The gab between Prince and Peterson could shrink weekly as the draft approaches.

6. Cleveland Browns, 5-11

Team Needs:  WR, T, LB, DE, Something else to do for people who live in Cleveland


A.J. Green, WR, Georgia, 6'4", 208 lbs

This is the biggest no brainer in the history of earth. No team is in more need of a top WR than the Browns and Green, a big, fast and productive player, is far and away the premier prospect as his position.  He could form a potent tandem with Colt McCoy for years to come and finally give the Dogpound something to bark about.  We absolutely love Green's potential as a big time NFL playmaking WR along the lines of Roddy White and Reggie Wayne.

7.  San Fransisco 49ers, 6-10

Team Needs: QB, WR, QB, DT, QB, LB, QB, CB, QB, Winners

Ryan Mallett, QB, Arkansas, 6'7", 238 lbs

Inconsistent QB play cost Mike Singletary his job, new coach Jim Harbaugh will look to remedy that from the start. If he can't get Luck, his college QB to change his mind enter the draft and pledge to only play for San Fran, then Mallett is a nice consultation prize. He's tall (6'7) with an absurdly great arm that will mix well with the deep threats currently on the roster in Vernon Davis and Michael Crabtree.  Needs to work on his touch and footwork to take the next step. Gets the nod over Blaine Gabbert since teams will fall in love with his arm strength.

8. Tennessee Titans, 6-10

Team Needs: QB, G, LB, CB, An owner who doesn't throw his coach under the bus and then pretend he didn't

Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri, 6'5", 240 lbs

After the announcement this week that the Titans would move on without Vince Young , the #1 need for the franchise (if not necessarily the current team) is to find a quarterback to build around.  Gabbert, a considered a top 5-type talent and in some eyes the best QB in the draft, could become the new face of a franchise undergoing some serious changes.  Though unknown to the general public, he has the prototypical size and accuracy to succeed as a top-shelf passer.  Could be a more mobile version of Kerry Collins in terms of his ability to get the ball in the hands of his playmakers, Kenny Britt and Chris Johnson.  We might prefer Cam Newton but we doubt the Titans choose to entrust their franchise to a running quarterback with character questions so soon after the VY-error.

9. Dallas Cowboys, 6-10

Team Needs: T, G, DE, S, CB, To go away

Marcell Dareus DE/DT Alabama, 6'2", 303 lbs

After a supremely disappointing season that saw Wade Phillips canned, the Cowboys find themselves picking in the Top 10 instead of vying for a chance to play the Super Bowl at home.  With a bunch of important players entering free agency or facing release, their D has a lot of holes, several of which could be filled by the versatile, freak Dareus.  Dareus, who entered the public consciousness with a rambling defensive touchdown in the Crimson Tide's BCS Title victory over Texas last season, can play any position on the defensive line and will offer new coach Jason Garrett great flexibility during his transition.  Could be a real difference maker as a pass-rusher in any scheme.  Dallas would like to draft an offensive lineman but none represents the right value at this pick. 

10. Washington Redskins, 6-10

Team Needs: QB, RB, WR, T, G, DE, DT, CB, LB, A Haynesworth/McNabb cleansing

Jake Locker QB, Washington, 6'2", 230 lbs

Despite the deep well of needs present on the Redskins roster, we're guessing that Shanahan, who loves his quarterbacks and once traded up to grab Jay Cutler, will fall in love with one and grab him here.  Of all the guys available at this point, Locker seems like the most likely object of Mike's affection.  Shanahan loves mobile quarterbacks who demonstrate toughness and leadership and Locker fits the bill.  He's got all the physical tools arm strength, speed, leadership that Shanahan will be blinded by visions of the quarterback who won him two titles - John Elway.  Obviously he's not going to be that good but, given the time to develop, he could become a more mobile and less dickish version of Jay Cutler. Shanahan is a guy who can develop passers (remember Jake Plummer?).

11. Houston Texans, 6-10

Team Needs: DT, CB, S, to get back to 8-8

Von Miller, OLB, Texas A&M, 6'3", 240 lbs

Despite an explosive offense, the Texans managed to miss the playoffs yet again, as they have in every year of their existence largely because they couldn't stop anyone.  Enter deposed Cowboy headman, Wade Phillips.  Phillips is known to run a 3-4 front so a major change in philosophy may be in order.  If so, a premier pass-rushing linebacker is mandatory and Miller fits the bill.  He's a pass-rushing phenom who racked up 21.5 TFL and 17 sacks in the Big 12.  A potential linebacking corps of Cushing, Ryans, Mario Williams and Miller could rival the Steelers as the league's premier foursome.  Even without a change to the 3-4, Miller shows enough coverage potential to play in the 4-3.

12.  Minnesotta Vikings, 6-10

Team Needs: QB, S, DE, DT, OLB, To finally move on

Cam Newton QB, Auburn, 6'5", 248 lbs

Despite an awful season, the Vikes are stocked with talent everywhere except the QB position and have been since Favre announced his last comeback.  The team could bring in a veteran to try to help them contend this year but we still think Newton is the way to go here.  Beyond his ridiculous college production, there are two reasons why Newton goes this high despite a lack of pro-style offense experience, potential character issues and sketchy accuracy - Michael Vick and Tim Tebow.  We see Newton as a bit of a cross between those two, with a blend of size, speed, passing ability, play making and on-field leadership, that doesn't come around very often.  If he can develop a passing presence to match his running ability (see 2010 Vick) he'll be an absolutely HUGE star with the upside of a guy who revolutionizes the quarterback position in the NFL.  At worst, he's Vince Young, which isn't terrible.  If we had our choice, he'd go even higher.  Not everyone agrees so look for Cam's to be the most volatile stock in this year's draft - he could go #1 or fall out of the first round.

13. Detroit Lions, 6-10

Team Needs: T, G, LB, SS, DE, CB, A shoulder that allows Stafford to get the ball to Megatron

Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa, 6'3", 285 lbs

With good size and a great motor, Clayborn is the type of power, penetrating, no quit end that could provide the perfect compliment to budding superstar Ndamukong Suh by feasting on team's inability to double team him.  Has the experience to step in immediately and help improve a defense that continues to struggle and prevent the lions from contending in the NFC North. Detroit gets excellent value here after an only average year from Clayborn.  CB is a position of great need so they could reach for one here.

14. St. Louis Rams, 7-9

Team Needs: WR, CB, OLB, DT, DE, S, G, To keep doing what they're doing

Justin Blackmon, WR, Oklahoma State, 6'1", 207 lbs

The Rams are a team on the rise.  In only one season, Bradford established himself as a franchise caliber signal caller and could get the dynamic receiver he needs to take his game to another level. Blackmon exploded on the scene as a red-shirt sophomore with 111 catches, 1782 yards and 20 touchdowns, including 5 for 157 and 2 TDs against Prince Amukamara and Nebraska's tough defense and possesses the size-speed combo NFL teams covet.  Looked absolutely unstoppable in every game we saw.  Gets a slight edge over Julio Jones in our minds. 

15. Miami Dolphins, 7-9

Team Needs:  QB, RB, G, C, An offense

Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama, 5'10". 215 lbs

Ideally Miami would trade up for a QB or down for an interior offensive lineman but if they stay at 15, a replacement for the likely departing two-headed disappointment of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams to rebuild the running game could be in order.  After winning the Heisman as a sophomore, Ingram had a down year but remains a first round talent capable of being a feature back with a nice combo of size and speed.  Not physically imposing with combine numbers that will blow anyone away but he's an instinctive and effective runner, adept at setting up his blocks and consistently getting all the yards available - more Emmit Smith and Adrian Peterson. 

16. Jacksonville Jaguars, 8-8

Team Needs: DE, LB, S, A move to Los Angeles

Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue, 6'4" 259 lbs

Doesn't it seem like the Jags have been searching for a pass-rushing defensive end forever? Well, they kinda have been, drafting pairs of defensive ends in both the 2008 and 2010, bringing in Aaron Kampman this off season yet still being unable to find a guy who could into the opposing team's backfield more than 5 times last season.  We see them going to the well yet again with Kerrigan a good all-around end and relentless pass-rusher who racked up 13 sacks and 18 tackles for loss as a senior Boilermaker. Other possibilities include OLB Ayers, DE Heyward or CB Jenkins.

17. New England Patriots (from Raiders), 14-2

Team Needs:  WR, T, OLB, A right to the face

Cameron Heyward, DL, Ohio State, 6'5", 278 lbs

Belichick could go a few ways here, but in the end we think he'll replace the man he traded to get this pick. The offense has been great the last few seasons and, oddly for a team coached by a defensive guru, it's the defense that needs work.  Despite a sub-par senior season, Heyward, the son of Tecmo Super Bowl legend Ironhead, is a fearsome talent who Genius Bill can move all around his schemes like he did Richard Seymour.  A versatile talent equally adept at stopping the run as rushing the passer.  A fit for any front.

18. San Diego Chargers, 9-7

Team Needs: DT, WR, DE, T, MLB, Less arrogant general manager

Stephen Paea, DT, Oregon State, 6'1" 304 lbs

San Diego is another team with greater talent then its record suggests and are without any absolutely glaring needs so they can look for the best available player.  They've yet to replace it's once great nose tackle, Jamal Williams, so Paea represents a perfect blend of need and value. Paea grew up in Tonga and carries a warrior reputation as a tireless worker and exceptionally strong run stopper. Lacks ideal height for the 3-4 nose but is stout enough against the run to be a good fit regardless.  An absolute beast.

19. New York Giants, 10-6

Team Needs: OLB, T, RB, A mandatory team seminar on discipline and avoiding mistakes

Akeem Ayers, LB, UCLA, 6'3", 249 lbs

They can't draft a do-over for a highly disappointing season so the G-men finally get the athletic OLB they've craved for years.  While he's still raw, the upside on Ayers is high.  He's got great size and speed, is a fluid athlete, excels as a pass-rusher and is capable in coverage.  Could develop into the all-around playmaker the Giants sorely need to solidify a talented, but inconsistent, defense.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 10-6

Team Needs:  G, DE, OLB, S, More of the creamsicle uniforms

Nate Solder, T, Colorado, 6'8", 300 lbs

The Bucs don't necessarily need a tackle but at this point Solder is too good to pass up.  A former TE, he possess good size and exceptional athleticism for the tackle position with the speed, agility which teams covet at the LT position.  With the Bucs developing Josh Freeman as their franchise QB, they can never have enough talented blockers opening holes and protecting his back.  The order of tackle prospects is still in flux so look for the order to shuffle in coming weeks.

21. Kansas City Chiefs, 10-6

Team Needs: T, CB, WR, DT, LB, SS, A head coach who doesn't look like an offseason meth dealer

Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin, 6'6", 318 lbs

Carimi is the big, tough and nasty mauler the team can plug in across from Brendan Albert to solidify the right side of their line and allow them to continue to be a power running team that relies on the spectacular Jamaal Charles even without Charlie Weiss' creative schemes.  Carimi played LT at Wisconsin but his size and run blocking ability make him a perfect fit for the right side in the pros.

22. Indianapolis Colts, 10-6

Team Needs: T, G, DT, SS, OLB, To wake Jim Caldwell from his slumber

Anthony Costanzo, OT, Boston College, 6'7", 295 lbsThe foundation of the NFL's most consistent team started to show cracks this season after both injuries and the line's inability to keep the great Peyton Manning comfortable in the pocket, neutered their once-explosive offense.  Even without the injures to his playmakers, Peyton still got hit this year a lot more than he's used to and the Colts need to go to the well one more time to try to solidify the edges of their line.  Costanzo, a four year starter at BC, possess the height and long arms that are vital to success as an NFL tackle. Needs to get stronger but has the intelligence and tenacity to succeed and earn #18's trust as a rookie.




23. Philadelphia Eagles, 10-6

Team Needs:  CB, G, C, T, OLB, Integrity

Mike Pouncey, G/C, Florida 6'5", 309 lbs

The Eagles trend of investing early picks along their lines continues with the other Pouncy brother. Their offensive line was decimated by injuries this season so adding a versatile interior lineman who can play either guard spot or center would be welcome news to Mike Vick's sore everything.  Pouncy is strong, nasty and athletic enough to get down field and out in front of the Eagles playmakers. Experienced in working in a shotgun heavy, multiple look offense from his time at Florida.  A pro-bowl caliber performance of his brother as a Steeler rookie doesn't hurt either.

24. New Orleans Saints, 11-5



Team Needs: RB, DE, DT, OLB, SS, To avoid the short fall back to suckiness

Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois, 6'3", 300 lbs

After winning the Super Bowl in 2009 on the strength of a opportunistic, turnover creating defense, the Saints came back to earth a little bit on that side of the ball this season. After being exposed even further in a wildcard loss to Seattle, New Orleans has to address that side of the ball. Luiget, a rising junior, is the type of stout, run-stuffing DT that could make a huge difference in many areas, like a Marshawn Lynch run for example. In a division with Matt Ryan and Josh Freeman, the Saints are going to have to get some stops if they're going to return to the ranks of championship contenders.


25. Seattle Seahawks, 7-9



Team Needs: QB, T, G, C, DE, DT, SS, CB, Competition Dude!!

Derek Sherrod, OT, Miss St, 6'5", 303 lbs


Even after drafting Russell Okung last season, the Seahawks still lack depth and competence along their offensive line. By this point in any draft thee truly elite tackles are long gone but Sherrod has the athleticism to develop and could be a legitimate starter in his first season if he shows adeptness at learning the Colts' scheme and earning #18's trust. Needs to get stronger and meaner and work on pass blocking to realize his potential but could provide the Seahawks with some help protecting and developing Clipboard Jesus Charlie Whitehurst.


26. Green Bay Packers, 10-6

Team Needs:  RB, OLB, DE, G, CB, Crackers

Justin Houston, OLB/DE, Georgia, 6'3", 254 lbs

The Pack could go for a running back here but their need for another pass rusher to help Clay Matthews and free Charles Woodson from such heavy blitzing duties makes Houston the pick here.  Houston, only a junior, had an exceptional season racking up double-digit sacks in the always-tough SEC and his stick has increased steadily all year.  Experienced running the 3-4 during his time at Georgia and with the 3-4 becoming the defense in the NFL he could find himself gone before #25.   

27. Chicago Bears, 11-5

Team Needs: T, WR, G, C, OLB, DT, Some semblance of a running game

Tyron Smith, T, USC, 6'5", 291 lbs

The Bears allowed 55 sacks this past year and either need to find a way to give Cutler more time or find a more capable back-up.  Between Martz' system and the emergence of Johnny Knox, Chicago is positioned to have an proficient passing offense in '11 if they can keep Cutler upright.  Smith is the type of elite athlete that a team like the Bears would be smart to pounce on and try to develop.  Only a junior, he needs to get stronger to be dominant but the tools are there.  Experienced protecting Matt Barkley in a pass-heavy, pro scheme at USC.  Could be the real tackle riser in this draft.

28. New York Jets, 11-5

Team Needs:  G, DE, DT, OLB, WR, To shut the fuck up, seriously, please stop talking

Julio Jones, WR, Alabama, 6'4", 211 lbs

While J-E-T-S have significant needs in the pass-rushing department and depth along the defensive line, none of the guys left at this point present a great value (3-4 defensive linemen aren't 1st round playmaker types) so they'll give in to their love of stars and pick up a potential big-time WR in Julio Jones. Jones, a former top overall recruit at his position and a guy who could just as easily find himself in the Top 15 come draft day, has great size, deceptively good speed (he's a long strider) and projects similarly to one of the guys he could end up replacing, Braylon Edwards, including the dropsies.  With both Edwards and Holmes becoming free agents in the offseason, Jones gives the Jets flexibility in their offseason plans as well as a guy who could grow with the Sanchize. 

29. Baltimore Ravens, 12-4

Team Needs: WR, CB, S, T, OLB, C, A chill pill

Stefen Wisniewski, C, Penn State, 6'3", 293 lbs

With incumbent center Matt Birk a free agent, the Ravens continue to rebuild their aging offensive line with this Penn State product with an NFL pedigree (nephew of Steve Wisniewski). Wisnewski is smart and quick and while he needs to get a little stronger, he's the type of kid who can step in and take charge of an offensive line and help a young quarterback like Flacco continue his development. 

30.  Pittsburgh Steelers, 12-4

Team Needs: T, DE, CB, G, A less rapey QB

Cameron Jordan, DE, Cal, 6'4", 280 lbs

Tackle is a position of great need for the Steelers but they make their bones on defense and replacing the aging duo of Aaron Smith and Brett Keisel will take precedence in the first round.  Jordan projects highly but falls because he's not the pass-rusher that many teams covet.   Pittsburgh is the beneficiary of that slip grabbing a powerful 3-4 end that can both occupy blockers and make plays when called upon.

31. Atlanta Falcons, 13-3

Team Needs: T, DE, G, OLB, People to care enough to come up with something snarky to say

Kyle Rudolph, TE, Notre Dame, 6'5", 253 lbs

With the greatest tight end of all time Tony Gonzalez beginning to slow down, the well-stocked Falcons jump at the opportunity to snag a big-time TE prospect who falls due to a nagging hamstring injury that held his production down.  Randolph is big and extremely athletic, an excellent blocker and possesses great hands.  If he can run well at the combine his stock should rise.

32. New England Patriots, 14-2

Team Needs:  WR, T, OLB, A left n the face

Jeremy Beal, OLB, Oklahoma, 6'3", 263 lbs

The Pats continue to address their team "deficiencies" on defense, this time adding a pass-rusher to the fold.  Beal is exactly the type of outside linebacker Belichick looks for to run his 3-4 front.  He's got great size for the position, possesses excellent awareness, and truly top-end speed and is known for being a hard-worker with attention to detail.  Sounds like the profile of a Patriot.  Could potentially fit as a 4-3 end when New England gets creative.  We'll admit there's absolutely no chance we're going to be able to predict what the Pats will do but we couldn't leave it blank.

Stupid Commenter Beatdown? - Canabalizing The Project

As you might remember, a few weeks back we did a post on the weird Geico commercial where the lady apparently thinks she had sex with a gecko.  For some reason, it's become the most popular thing we've ever done earning an absurd 269 hits.  Apparently writing about vaguely current things that nobody else cares about is the way to go!! In addition to all those hits, we've experienced another rarity around these parts - comments.  One we're pretty sure is fake and another that we really can't figure out.

First one from our friend "Anomymous"

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting this because everytime I see that commercial it freaks me out! The media has long begun to show explicit commercials making morals and values non-significant but this has gone a too far. Making humans to reptile/animal relationships acceptable is weird and creepy. Let's just keep that for the Jerry Springer show.

Good old Joe Anonymous - he visits us from time to time leaving clever comments to make us laugh.  We're pretty sure he gets it.  Jon, we're not so sure. 

Jon said...
Holy shit, you guys are sucking too hard on the O2 bottle. Put your moralizing, Sarah Palin knee jerk reactionism on the shelf and enjoy the silly inuendo.

What the hell are we to make of this?  We're not at all familiar with sucking on oxygen bottles, though we suppose it could get you high.  Maybe we'll take a hit from granny next time she busts her ass and ends up in the hospital.  If this dude is for real, either he's a gigantic idiot or our satirical writing is waaaaay better then we thought it was.  Surely it's the former. 

What do you think?  Real or fake?  Either way we appreciate the comments. 

To our loyal readers:  Have you seen something dumb or ridiculous that deserves to be skewered in a persnickety way?  Have a topic or question you want answered by The Project?  Want to contribute, even? 
Email us at thepersnicketyproject@gmail.com. 
Can't wait to hear from you.

Real Basketball - Carmelo Drama

After about 4 months of on and off, protracted negotiations, it seems that a deal that lands Carmelo Anthony with the New Jersey Nets may finally be on the horizon.  (Even with all the overdone drama this thing is still "Mad Men" to LeBron's "Grey's Anatomy"-like decision.)

The proposed deal would be a three teamer in which the Nets would acquire Anthony and Chauncey Billups from Denver as well as Rip Hamilton from Detroit while sending out 3/4 of their roster.  In exchange for their star, the Nuggets would rid themselves of Billups' contract and get two future first-round picks along with #3 pick in last year's draft, PF Derrick Favors, PG Devin Harris, Anthony Morrow (so much for our idea that the Nets play "Three-Morrow, Three-Morrow" as sung by Little Orphan Annie every time he hits from deep) as well as Quinton Ross, Ben Uzoh and Stephen Graham, a.k.a salary cap fodder.  For their troubles, the Pistons would also shed Hamilton's contract while picking up the incomparable Johan Petro and the expiring contract (and corpse) of Troy Murphy.  After being reported to be "on the ten yard line" the deal is now being held up by the Nuggets greedy insistence that they also be able to dump Al Harrington and his contract they everyone knew was a bad idea the minute they signed it (four years and $28 million, signed this off season) in any deal. 

It may fall apart or it may not but, with Melo on the move somewhere at some point, we might as well get out in front of the thing and start dealing with it.  Anytime a player of this caliber - a 26 year old forward with the 4th highest scoring average among active players - is traded is comes down to two things: (1) Carmelo; and (2) everybody else.

Carmelo

How you feel about the deal basically comes down to how you feel about Carmelo Anthony.  Are you blinded by the scoring numbers, the two seasons over 28 ppg and the average of over 20 in every year of his pro career, and think that he could be the franchise savior?  Or do you see him as a truly special scorer - perhaps the best in the game today - but recognize the holes in his game and understand that he's not yet a guy who can win you a title?

If you're in the former group - GO CRAZY!!  Melo is coming to save your dreadful team, just like Amare is doing across the river.   Buy the jersey and enjoy the ride, just don't go taking off from work for the championship parade yet.

As you might have surmised from the very slanted way in which we posed the question, we're in the latter category and we hope to whatever people hope to that the franchise understands what its getting.  Carmelo is a great player with one exceptional skill - he can score on anyone at anytime in any situation.  A guy like that is incredibly useful to have on your team; he's no savior but he could be a very nice first step.   

Throughout the history of basketball, at every level from pick-up to pros, the the guys who can score have gotten the accolades and attention.  Putting the ball in the basket is cool.  Even the most uninformed person watching a gem for 2 minutes will pick out those guys.  Nobody gives a shit about the guy who sets screens or plays help defense or crashes the boards.  They're not the stars. The guys putting up points are the stars.  In the NBA (even in this enlightened age of statistical analysis) points get paid.
But not all scorers are created equal.  There are two categories: (1) Scorers; (2) Ballers, each with a completely different way to get their points and a impact their team. 

We've all played with Scorers and they're easy to spot.  They're the guys on the wing that miss your brilliant cut across the lane because they're too busy pounding the ball or making 47 jab steps to set up their move.  It's not their fault necessarily, despite the air of confidence, deep down these guys are insecure.  They need the cheers that come with getting buckets.  So they adopt the role, carry the mantra of the Scorer and become single minded in their pursuits and can't be bothered with much else, conserving their energy on defense.  They're "ballstoppers" if you're being nice, "black holes" if you're not.  The thing about scorers is if they're really good at what they do (like Melo or Iverson or 'Nique) they can carry a team for awhile.  They'll win lots of regular season games, author a bunch of Sportscenter highlights, make the playoffs, and if surrounded by right talent (read: guys willing to sublimate their egos and do ALL of the dirty work) maybe get you a chance to be stomped by the Lakers in the finals.  They need volume to be effective.  You run plays for them and they get their points.  You don't they struggle.  While they make their shots, the was they do it, inefficiently and with the ball all the time, they take everyone else out of the game and that doesn't work against the really good teams.

"Ballers" are a whole different animal.  They don't necessarily stand out quite as much on your first glance, but true fans know who they are and why they're so good.  They're the guys who hit you on that cut for a layup but on the next play get a return pass from you and knock down a jumper, later maybe they get an easy bucket in transition or on a put back or off a back door cut.  Sure they have the ball a ton but its because they're just better than everyone else and they keep their teammates involved and engaged.  They grab a hand full of boards and assists, spend some of their precious energy dealing with the other teams best guy in crunch time, and when you look at the score sheet you see that not only did their team win but they lead everyone in points without you really even noticing.  These guys (Duncan, Bird, Jordan (after he got "it"), LeBron, Wade, Kobe (at times) understand that to win big, basketball has to be a team game that involves everyone.  At their best they can dominate without the ball and are confident enough in their station to let other guys shine.  They're efficient and they make their teammates better.  They are the true superstars, few and far between.

Right now, Melo is a Scorer and an inefficient one at that.  He dominates the ball, averages more shots per minute than anybody and shoots a below average percentage.  While some of that can be attributed to the burden of carrying a team on a nightly-basis, that really only reinforces our point.  The holes in his game are obvious.  Sure he rebounds well for his position (8.3 this year) and could play the 4 in a small-ball line-up, but he's not a gifted or particularly willing passer or defender.  If the Nets (or any other team that acquires him) expects to build a team that features him AND contends for championships, they're going to be disappointed.  You can win with him as your best player (without a really strong 1A who has complimentary skills like Dwight Howard or a healthy Yao Ming) but you're not going to win big.  The annals of the NBA are littered with teams lead by high scoring guys who, to the amazement of so many, couldn't get over the hump.  

The organization needs to understand that, once Carmelo signs the 3 year, $65m extension (he's going to be overpaid) that needs to be the first of many big steps.  The Nets will be better with Melo but if they think he's going to be their LeBron and make up for whiffing on the 2010 class or something they're delusional.  The Russian needs to be committed to spending and finding creative ways (in Billy King we trust?) to get the right pieces around him.  Maybe Lopez (who's regressed this year) becomes the inside compliment that Melo needs to be more efficient but this can't be their only big move.  They need to find a way to get another player as good or better than Melo to be a true contender and two guys who were great 5 years ago ain't going to cut it.  Without more thoughtful and purposeful moves the best they'll do is getting bounced by the Heat in the second round every year.  So some maybe that will be fun to watch.  For us, we think watching a giants Russian billionaire raise the Larry O'Brien trophy with Jay-Z while a bewildered David Stern wonders what went wrong is fun.  

One final note, it's always possible that Melo could use his move to Jersey as an opportunity to reinvent his career and become a more well-rounded player, kinda like Amare has done in NYC to a degree, but if he's really forcing a move from Denver because he wants to be paid and play in NYC to make his wife happy, we're not feeling too good about those possibilities.

Everybody Else

While Melo is the key to the future trajectory of the franchise, it's the other guys who will determine how it works in the short term.  Apparently, he insisted that, as a condition of signing the extension that the Nets smartly required be part of any deal, the Nets needed to acquire additional players that would be worthy to play of being on the same court with him.  Those guys?   Former Detroit Piston teammates Chauncey Billups (Anthony's teammate in Denver) and Rip Hamilton.  While neither is the player they once were (with Rip having an especially down year) they are smart veterans who play efficiently and know how to win and should be able to mold their games around Melo to get the most of their collective talent (if, or course, Chauncey backs off his statement of wanting a buy-out if he ends up in Newark).  A starting 5 of Billups, Hamilton, Anthony, Lopez and Rebounding Machine Kris Humphries should be good enough to challenge for a spot at the bottom of the playoffs this season if they get anything from their bench.  Considering the sheer number of players the Nets would lose in the proposed trade - leaving them with Travis Outlaw, Jordan Farmar and Susha Vujacic as back-ups - the bench piece is going to be an issue.  Not only are none of these guys particularly good but they'll be extremely lacking in size.  They'll need to scramble to find guys in the D-League or street free agents and hope they strike gold with one or two who can come in and give competent NBA minutes.

(Interestingly, while the team wouldn't be close to what the Celtics are defensively, they do have a similar offensive profile.  Billups could play the Rondo role as distributor role while Hamilton does his best Ray Allen impression working off the ball and running through screens, Melo would be the go-to guy and Lopez would hang out down low getting putbacks and hitting the occasional jumper.  Humpries just needs to work on his robotic post moves and constant scowl to be the next Kendrick Perkins.  It would be a JV version but it could work.  Just a thought.) 

So while the returns on the court might be encouraging, at 32 and 34, respectively, both Hamilton and Billups  they're on the downsides of their careers and are in the middle of hefty contracts.  So it's not a real sustainable model for sucess.  After this season, Hamilton has 2 years, $12.5 million and Billups has 1 year, $13 million so, unless the marquee free-agents of 2012 (Paul, Deron Williams, Dwight Howard) elect not to opt out, they won't be able to sign a guy of that ilk to compliment their new star anytime soon. Maybe they use one of their expiring contracts to take on another overpaid guy in a year but that's still a gamble.  Otherwise, albeit with a more talented core, they're back to rebuilding again in 2013.  But we guess that's just the going rate for a "superstar."
For Denver, they get to move on and free themselves of the Melo-drama and the luxury tax.  Favors has huge upside and could end up being a stronger version of Chris Bosh.  Morrow is a big-time shooter who doesn't do much else and Harris is a former All-Star who could be moved again for more assets to allow them to hand the team over to Ty Lawson.  The picks give them something they'll need as they rebuild - hope.

As for the Pistons, they save money.  That's it.  Isn't the NBA great?

The Verdict

As we were taught in law school, the answer to every question is it depends.  If the Nets think this is the only big move they have to make, then we're all going to be disappointed.  But, if they're taking these extraordinary steps - gutting the roster, taking on bad contracts - to secure an elite scorer as the first step in a series of moves to create a championship-level team, we're on board.  As with everything, we'll just have to wait and see.

Real Football - The Project Takes Requests - Best Quarterbacks in the 2011 NFL Draft

To prove that we're not totally full of crap when we say we love feedback from our reader, we decided to take a request: 

Subject: How about a post on the best quarterbacks coming out in the draft

I was talking with some people about who they think are the best QBs and they think the media is biased. What do you think? Why do you think that the media collectively views Andrew Luck as a better QB than Cam Newton? I would be curious to hear the projects thoughts on this one.

We currently working on the first draft of our 2010 NFL Mock Draft (unfortunately we had to start over after Luck announced he was going back to Stanford) but since the quarterbacks are generally the biggest stories on draft day we figured a separate post was in order.  Today, we'll do a rundown of the guys likely to go in the first round.  With teams like the Panthers, Bills, Bengals, Cardinals, 49ers, Titans, Redskins, Vikings and Dolphins all potentially in the market for QBs things could get very interesting.

Finding a Quarterback

We're looking at first rounders because that seems like a good place to find them if you want to be a playoff team.  Don't believe us?

Check out the passers for our 2010 playoff participants and how they ended up on their teams (we refuse to acknowledge the Seahawks as a playoff team):
New York Jets - Mark Sanchez (1st round)
Indianapolis Colts - Peyton Manning (1st overall)
Kansas City Chiefs - Matt Cassel (picked in 7th round by New England Patriots, acquired by Chiefs with Mike Vrabel for 2nd round draft pick, signed to a 6-year, $63 million contract)
Baltimore Ravens - Joe Flacco (1st round)
Pittsburgh Steelers - Ben Roethlisberger (1st round)
New England Patriots - Tom Brady (6th round - biggest steal in draft history)
New Orleans Saints - Drew Brees (1st pick in 2nd round by San Diego Chargers, signed as free agent after a serious shoulder injury.  Rep and the Chargers decision to replace him with the 4th overall pick, Phillip Rivers)
Philadelphia Eagles - The Dogkiller - (1st overall by the Atlanta Falcons.  You may have heard his story)
Green Bay Packers - Aaron Rodgers (1st round - picked despite the presence of Brett Favre)
Chicago Bears - Jay Cutler (1st round, Denver Broncos.  Acquired for Kyle Orton and first-round picks in 2009 (18th overall) and 2010, along with a third-round pick (84th overall) in 2009.)
Atlanta Falcons - Matt Ryan (1st round)

As you can see, while you don't have to be a first round pick it does help (though success is far from guaranteed) and if you're not going to get your guy through the trade you'd better be prepared to pay in both picks and contract extensions to get one.  Even the awful Seahawks had to use draft picks to aquire their quarterbacks (they swapped 2nd and 3rd round picks with San Diego to get Whitehurst, a former 3rd round pick who was a career-long back-up and long ago they got Hasselbeck (a former 6th rounder and back-up) for a swap of 1st rounders and a 3rd.) 

Bias?
In a word: no. Given all the money and jobs on the line when they turn in that little card to the commissioner, the decision makers can't afford to be biased against anything but players who they think can't make the transition from college to pro football and life.  They'd pick a guy who killed their grandmother if they knew he'd throw 30 TDs and win them two rings.

Even quarterbacks picked in the first round isn't without risks (the ratio of hits to busts is probably around 50/50).  Sure, if you pick the right one (say, Peyton Manning) you end up with a string of playoff berths and a Super Bowl trophy but if you miss, you're the Cincinnati Bengals.  You waste absurd amounts of money on busts like Dave Klingler and Akili Smith and then try to correct your mistake by spending pick after pick until you find the right guy (Carson Palmer, at least for a few years) and never build up the roster to properly surround your leader.  Oh yeah and if you're the GM who screws up the pick you get fired. (Do you think Bill Polian, a Hall-of-Fame GM, would still be running the Colts if he drafted Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning?)  So, in an effort to protect their jobs, NFL talent evaluators will look for anything and everything - character, size, injuries, playing style,  collegiate scheme - that could hinder a guy's ability to be a successful pro.  It's almost like general managers are trying to find reason NOT to draft a guy.  They'd rather pass on a good one then pick a bad one. 

Evaluating Quarterbacks

Part of what makes the evaluation so tricky is that college and pro football are essentially two different sports.  We've heard it said that in college everyone is open where in the pros nobody is.  College is all about wide-open spread offenses, less condensed talent and uneven competition.  Oftentimes, the quarterback is the best athlete on the field and can simply dominate the competition on pure physical talent.  In the NFL is doesn't work that way.  Quarterbacks face defenses filled with guys who were all best guy on their college team and coached by sociopaths who spend 100 hours a week trying to figure out how to stop them.  Maybe, Cam Newton might be able to run all over Ol Miss 25 times but if he tries that crap against Ol Ray Lewis he's going to die. 

So in making their evaluations, NFL teams tend to gravitate towards guys who already have experience in "pro-style systems:, i.e. guys who take snaps from under center, work play action, etc, as opposed to guys who come from the spread.  It's easier to project a guy to be good on the pro-level when you've seen him do the things he'll need to do there while in college.  That's how a comparatively less spectacular guy like Andrew Luck could be considered the hands-down #1 pick over Cam Newton, the author of perhaps the most dominant single season a college football player has ever had.  Never underestimate the lack of imagination possessed by teams.

Similarly, NFL teams don't look at the skills that make a college player dominant but at the ones they think translate to the pro game - height, arm strength, accuracy, football intelligence, the ability to operate within the pocket and, hopefully, leadership.  We tend to think height and arm strength are kind of overrated while teams don't consider a guys accuracy and, especially, leadership quite enough.  If a guy can't lead a bunch of enthusiastic college kids how is he going to win over a bunch of dudes who's paychecks are on the line.  Teams that don't put enough focus on this one end up with Jeff George and Matt Leinart and Vince Young. 

Sometimes skills that extremely effective in college, like running ability, are considered a detriment.  Teams will often look a guy who ran alot in college and see a player who won't stay in the pocket and and could therefore subject heir $100 million dollar investment to unnecessary punishment and ultimately injury.  Nobody wants to go bowling with their Faberge egg.

Now that we've set the evaluation table, we'll take a look at the guys likely to be entrusted with NFL teams in the near future. 

The Guys

Andrew Luck

When we started writing this Luck was the consensus, lock-down, no-brainer and every other adjective you could think of #1 pick in the draft.  He's been described as the best, most well-rounded quarterback prospect since John Elway.  Today, he announced he was staying at Stanford and forgoing the 2010 draft.  Apparently, he really loves school though if you're looking for an ulterior motive you can just look at where he would have gone - Carolina.  Can't say we blame him for wanting to take a chance on coming up with someplace better next season. 

Still, in anticipation of next year, we'll talk a little about what makes him so special in the eyes of NFL evaluators.  He's gets high grades in all the important categories: (1) physical traits - excellent size (6'4"), mobility, arm strength, accuracy, (2) production - 32 touchdowns and a ridiculous 71% completion percentage, (3) character - every sportswriter in America seems to have a man-crush ) and (4) he comes from a pro-style offense.  He's as close to can't miss as you get and probably, without exaggeration, the best prospect since Peyton.  Even for someone as negative as us, we have a hard time coming up with things to pick on.  He kinda has big teeth?

Best Case NFL Comp - Peyton Manning
Realistic NFL Comp - Aaron Rodgers

Cam Newton

We'll say this right off the bat - we love Cam Newton.  We love his NFL potential and if we had to pick one quarterback in this draft now that Luck is out we'd go with Newton.  We just got through a lengthy discussion of how different college and pro football are but Newton's absolute dominance this season can't be completely overlooked.  Maybe it's not predictive but it does show that he's not just a guy with a ton of talent but one that can produce.  Physically, he's a freak.  Not only is he huge (6'6", 250) but he's also extremely fast and strong.  He's got the arm strength and, we think, underrated accuracy.  Plus, he just makes plays and his teammates seem to respond to him as their leader.  He reminds us of a faster Daunte Culpepper who - before his gruesome knee injury - played at an MVP level for the Vikings.

He's not without his issues though.  Lots of people think his accuracy isn't where it needs to be and playing in Auburn's system didn't give him a chance to prove his aptitude in a pro-style offense.  Finally, there's the character thing.  We're not talking about all the stuff about his dad trying to sell his services (we could really care less about that) put he has been accused of cheating and stealing - teams won't overlook that stuff easily. 

We think he'll go quite high in the draft (we think he could end up in the mix for #1 come April) in part because of the relative success guys like Vick and Tebow had this year (Newton doesn't have Vick's short area quickness but he is fast while Tebow-like size to protect him from getting killed).  Teams are looking for the guy who can throw from the pocket while making plays outside it when necessary while not getting injured.  Those guys are few and far between and Newton just might be the real thing.  Teams won't pass for long.

Best-Case NFL Comp - Vick-bow, a truly unique quarterback
Realistic NFL Comp - Daunte Culpepper, 2009 Vince Young at worst

Blaine Gabbert

We'll admit, we haven't seen Gabbert play so we can only go on what we've read and heard.  Right now he seems to be very popular with evaluators because he possesses lots of the checklist qualities they look for.  Size?  6''5", 240.  Check.  Arm strength?  Check.  Accuracy?  Check.  Mobility? Good enough. Leadership?  He's a saint.  He's like Andrew Luck-lite.  He only loses points for coming from a spread system and occasionally forcing the ball into coverage.  His numbers don't jump out at you (16 TDs, 9 INTs, 63% completion) but everyone seems to agree he's a solid Top 5-10 guy. 

Best-Case NFL Comp - Matt Hasselbeck (before he totally sucked), Phil Simms
Realistic NFL Comp - Jake Delhomme (before he totally sucked)

Jake Locker

Locker is an interesting player.  He would have challenged Sam Bradford as the #1 overall pick last season , and seemed like he'd be this year's top pick before going to Washington for his senior year and having a disastrous season.  He was beat up repeatedly behind a weak offensive line, came up small against top opponents (4-20, 71 yards, 1 TD, 2 INTs and 5/16 for 56 yards in two games against Nebraska) and generally lost himself a ton of money.  Now he's not even guaranteed to go before the 2nd round.

Before this season everyone seemed to want him to be the next John Elway, citing his elite speed, arm strength and toughness while blaming his team for his utter lack of production.  Despite playing for noted passing scheme guru and former USC assistant Steve Sarkisian, even in his best season he only completed 58% of his passes while throwing 21 TDs and 11 INTs.  Those certainly aren't the kind of numbers you'd expect from a high first round pick or the next John Elway.  Still, it only takes one team to fall in love and we think his physical attributes and toughness will push him into the first 15 picks on draft day. 

Best Case NFL Comp - Steve McNair/Donovan McNabb/Ben Roethlisberger
Realistic NFL Comp - David Garrard

Ryan Mallett

The Man with the Golden Arm.  Mallett's ability to throw the football makes NFL teams absolutely drool.  He might have the strongest arm of any football player in the world right now. He's also got the size (6'7"), the ability and demeanor to push the ball down field, played in a pro-style system at Louisville, had great production (32 Tds, 65% completion) and is reported to be a fierce competitor (though from what we've seen he might get a little too fired up at times).   That should be enough to get him drafted in the high to mid first round.  He's got two main flaws, however.  One is accuracy, particularly on short throws.  From what we've seen he fires a few too many passes at his receivers feet.  The second downside for him is he's an absolute statue in the pocket.  He just doesn't move, it's like he's wearing cement shoes.  Guys who do that are sitting ducks for NFL caliber pass rushers.  Arm strength doesn't matter so much when you're getting hit. 

Best Case NFL Comp: Late career Dan Marino that couldn't move/Drew Bledsoe
Realistic NFL Comp: Kerry Collins

Things We Hate - Lazy Diabolical Parking Meters

Planning on parking here today?
Too fucking bad.

I’m a parking meter. I hate you and I'm going to ruin your morning for sport.


Here's the deal. I’m from Westfield so I’m doing pretty well.  In fact, I don’t even need to work.  I just do it to keep busy so you know I really could give a crap about my job.  So what if I'm supposed to take your money, in whatever form you choose to use, and grant you the right to park in one of the few not-snow-covered spots in my lot.  Maybe I just don’t feel like counting coins today.  Those things are so heavy and there’s all those different sizes and denominations, it’s a lot of work.  So I’ll just spit them out or maybe keep them, whatever. Plus, it’s cold outside and I’m metal.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll decide I don’t like your particular type of dollar bills.  I don't care how many times you try to smooth them out.  No dice asshole.  Still, you can bring them over, there’s no sign on me to tell you I’m not taking them and when you try to pay, maybe I’ll make a weird noise.  Or maybe I’ll just sit there and do nothing like I'm in a coma.  Or maybe I’ll take your dollar. And then maybe I won’t. And then maybe I’ll take your dollar for a second. And then maybe I won’t.  If I’m feeling really salty, maybe I’ll take one of your dollars and not the other. Oh, it’s hilarious when that happens.  It’s great just to see the crushed look on your face as you try to figure out what to do next since you’re out of quarters from parking here for 3 months.

Don’t be silly and press the refund button, that will just get you a piece of paper that says something cryptic like “notes refund.” What is that? Who knows but it won’t buy you an Arizona Iced Tea.

Maybe you can put some dimes and nickles in?  It will only take about 50 of them.  Hope you have big hands.  Go ahead, we dare you. We’ll take some of them … but not them all!! Maybe we didn’t like the taste of that last one so you’re not getting your 6 minutes. Oh, and we're not even going to think about giving it back to you.  No chance. You can punch me all you want.  You can break out those karate kicks you’ve been practicing like a douche in the basement.  None of it will work.  Did you forget, I'm made of metal baby!!  Your coins are mine and you can’t have them.

So why don’t you just push the little green button, take the hour of time I gave you and be grateful you get to park here at all. We’ll see you every hour on the hour. Hope that doesn’t screw up your work day, asshole.

Real Football - What Should Have Been a Goodbye to Tom Coughlin

Hey Tom, is it cold out or
 did someone jut poor acid on your face?

We love Tom Coughlin.  We really do. How could we not love a coach who lead your favorite team, after it barely qualified for the playoffs, on a magical Super Bowl run that included a defeat of the hated Cowboys, an NFC Championship win at the -600 degree Lambaeu Field (in a game where we legitimately feared his face might actually fall off) against the Dongslinger and one of the biggest upsets of all time against the undefeated New England Patriots?  That's as good a run as any football fan could ever asked for.  Add in the irrational love associated that comes with the Super Bowl victory being the last game we ever watched with our Dad and you can understand the kind of fan loyalty we have for Coach Coughlin. 

So it's with an overly dramatic heavy heart, we say that the Giants made a mistake by not firing him.  It's not because the Giants - a team with a Top 10 defense AND offense that lead the league in takeaways and sat 8 minutes from a division title and a potential first round bye - missed the playoffs because they couldn't stop giving the ball to the other team.  And it’s not even because we think he’s a bad coach.  In fact, we don't think there are 5coaches we'd rather have.  (If you’re wondering we’d only rather have, in no particular order, Belichick, Fisher and Payton definitely and arguably guys like Reid, Tomlin, Ryan, Shanahan and Smith.)  So, if he's a Top 10 coach and not to blame for this year's collapse, why should be be fired?
Professional sports is not the place to look for figures sympathetic to those of us to dwell helplessly in the real world.  In it's simplest terms, it's a group of people, getting paid enormous sums of money to be involved in games that we love.  Still, if there’s one group that deserves our sympathy (except for say, members of the Jets massage therapy department) it’s the coaches.  Coaches are like bread, you can do lots of things to keep them fresh but eventually they get moldy and end up on the trash heap.  Unless you are an all-time 1st tier level coach (and sometimes even if you are) not matter how good you are at your job and how much you win, at some point you're time is just up.  Players stop hearing what you have to say, your message falls on deaf ears and, when that happens you're screwed.  When we talk about the message not being heard we’re talking about one thing – the players stop listening. Yeah, “professional” athletes who get paid tons of money just decide they’re done listening to their boss.  Basically, you lose the players (the individuals who you are supposed to view you as a authority figure), you lose your job.  As unfair as it may seem, it's the business.  Any rational owner, when faced with the decision to get rid of a coach making $3m or a roster of players making upwards of $125 million, has no choice.  Coaches might a relative-to-reality ridiculous amount of money but remain completely underpaid when it comes to the real powers.  So feel a little bad for coaches and feel bad for Tom Coughlin because no matter how good a coach he is, that's what happened to him. 

When you look back at a season where week after week the team committed the same mistakes, namely turnovers, and week after week Coughlin stood up at his press conference and vowed to make changes only to see the same thing happen again.  Sure, the players were the ones at fault, fumbling the ball, failing to make catches and throwing interceptions but it's the coach's sole responsibility to put his players in positions (on the field or on the bench) so that the same things don't happen repeatedly.  Without that, he's useless.  Combine those mistakes with the Giants propensity to fade down the stretch (perhaps a result of Coughlin's tendency to work the team so hard during training camp leads to them peaking at the wrong time) and you come to the inescapable conclusion that a coach only 3 years removed from a Super Bowl victory and who had only one below .500 team in seven season has lost his team and it's time to go.

By not recognizing this reality, the Giants are also foregoing a golden opportunity to salvage any remaining championship potential the core of this team has.  By bringing him back, the Giants apparently believe that, despite any supporting proof, that the team will contend next season.  But, if they really do think the roster is good enough (there's no indication that they will or even should cut ties with veterans and start a rebuilding process under the oldest coach in the league), they're taking a huge risk entrusting one of the final years of its peak to a Coach who the evidence suggests has lost the room.  If they predictably fall short, the team will have to the find a new coach and either try to squeeze out a contender from a potentially aging roster or rebuild completely.  That scary scenario becomes even more frightening when you consider the fact that the team is sitting out an offseason where an abundance of proven coaches are available.  No matter how you feel about them you can’t argue that Cowher (who allegedly listed New York as one of his preferred destinations), Gruden, Billick and potentially Fisher and Fox are all viable coaches who could step into a contending team and potentially be the difference. (We happen to like Cowher and Fisher above the rest by a substantial margin)  They might not be better but they are different and that's what matters most.  It's hard for us to imagine passing up the opportunity to replace one Top 10 coach another.  At the very least, the new coach would get a year of learning and adjusting the personnel to make a run before Osi and the offensive line are rendered ineffective in 2 years. 

Too bad.

A quick note on Jim Harbaugh:  If he ever wants to be an NFL coach - and that's an IF - now is the time.  His stock will never ever be higher.  Chances are, if he loses Luck to the draft, his and Stanford's BCS appearances will go on hiatus.  Even if he went to Michigan, the time it would take to turn the program around - including having to recruit all new players for the change from RichRod's spread to his power system (ironically a change back from the one RichRod had to make) - would certainly dim his star a little.  Bottom line, the NFL doesn't hire mediocre college coaches.  But what about his dream of being the head coach of his alma mater? You can always go back to college.  Nothing he can do in the pros will hurt his stock, colleges hire failed NFL coaches all the time and unless Michigan hires the next Bo Schembechler, they'll still want him in 3 years if the NFL thing isn't to his liking.

The Persnickety Project's Year in Review - An Exercise in Shameful Self Promotion

Are you ready for some horn tootin?

So, we've been at this thing for something like 4 months, seems like the perfect time for a retrospective, doesn't it?  To make us feel slightly less like a used car salesmen, we forced The Mrs. to come up with her "Top 5 Favorite Posts" (we'd call it her "Fave Five" but that might draw a strongly worded letter from Chalres Barkley and Dwayne Wade) from the long and storied history of The Persnickety Project (don't be suprised if we do this next year and can only come up with 1 thing worth reposting).  Our loyal readers will probably recognize most of them but if you're anyone but those 3 people, take some time to see some of the brilliance you missed.

So join us in celebrating the most self-congratulatory holiday of all, New Year's ("What a great year I had.  I was just awesome.  Oh, and next year?  It's going to be even better." No it's not and you're a liar.) by checking out The Mrs. picks (Toot! Toot!).  We'll even do it "New Year's Rocking Eve" style (just try not to imagine Dick Clark doing the countdown, that's just too depressing):

5.  Things We Hate - Do They Know It's Christmas

She totally threw us a bone on this one because we were afraid our well researched, impeccably drafted attack on Band Aid might have gotten lost in the shuffle of the holiday season.  What's more likely is that everyone ignored it because ripping a 25 year old song is kinda lame.  To quote a random old person: "Six to one, half a dozen to another."

4.  Hot Stove Predictions That Are Already Wrong

The Mrs. is a sucker for anything involving baseball and this one was particularly appealing because it held promises of Cliff Lee joining her Yankees.  We get bonus points for actually getting a few of them right.  As they say: "Even the sun shines on a dogs balls once in awhile."  (Nobody says that.  Is that even a saying?)

3.  Holiday Gift Guide to Gift Giving - Part Deuce

Not only was this one super helpful for all you shoppers out there but The Mrs. was particularly fond of the focus on extremely expensive things (apparently she takes this as a sign that, despite our continued failure to purchase them, we are aware expensive things do exist.)  She also preferred Part Deuce over Part 1 because we left Crate and Barrel alone this time.  She's very protective of certain things.

2.  Thoughts on Eric LeGrande

Like Adam Sandler in "Punch Drunk Love" this was our rare attempt at showing our serious side.

1.  Things We Hate - Kids Safety Alert Signs

According to our better half this is the funniest thing we've written (high praise, we know!!).  After reading it you won't be surprised to find out we don't have children.

Do you feel dirty yet?  We do.

Still, that's not going to stop us from throwing out an honorable mention to our "Things We Hate - That Creepy Geico Commercial", which somehow managed to get 180+ pageviews (this can only be a result of accidental googling).  Also, for what it's worth our personal favorites are: (1) Train Blech our attempt to point out the idiocy of a couple of Train songs which stands out primarily because it was our first real attempt at writing something "original" and not just killing dumb commenters; and (2) "Stupid Commenter Beatdown - You Got Your Hives in My Peanut Butter" because we got to make fun of people with food allergies.

Definitely time for a shower now.  Thanks to everyone for reading and for the 30 of you willing to put your reputations on the line and sign up as followers, we are forever indebted to you.  In closing we'll ask (not rhetorically) what where your favorites? Even if they're all shit remember it's relative.  And if you have a fave, why not pass it along to your large groups of very cool, trendsetting friends?  You're an influential person, why not influence people to read The Project.  Not to get all Sally Struthers on you but WE NEED YOUR HELP.