Live Blogging The State of the Union

We're live at the Persnickety Lair.  Joined by The Mrs, ready to blog the shit out of the State of The Union.

Right now we're tuned to CNN in the SITUATION ROOM with Wolf Blitzer (easily the most ridiculous name in cable news - that's totally a weatherman name)

9:02 - We're officially "Awaiting Pres. Obama's Entrance" - the anticipation is palpable.  Playing "Name That Cabinet Member" with The Mrs.  She likes Hillary's hair, we think she looks a little ..... buff?

9:04 - Apparently it's "Date Night" at the Capitol, with many D's and R's sitting next to each other. We're told "the atmospherics on the floor are wonderful."

9:06 - The President is in the house!!  He's greeted by the members of Congress like desperate teenagers trying to get the attention of the star quarterback (yes, it's 1950 in the Lair). 

9:07 - Not sure which is worse, the guy shaking hands who looks like Teen Wolf or the one with the camera?

9:09 - Official tie color determination - purple.  Wolf thinks he's trying to make a statement, we think Wolf is color blind, it's totally blue.  Wolf is desperate for a situation.

9:11 - John Boehner getting teary eyed as he introduces the President.  Congress really is a bunch of teenage girls.

9:12 - Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap

9:13 - If you're going to sit in the seat next to the lady who was just shot in Arizona, maybe you wear a tie?  The Miami Vice look is hardly ever wrong, but maybe just this once. 

9:15 - Kumbaya!!!

9:17 - Who knew that gave out programs at the SOU?  The crowd looks like us during mass at a wedding.

9:19 - This just in:  technology has changed the world. 

9:20 - No workers are more productive than ours?  Apparently, Obama hasn't been in any office anywhere in this country lately.  Does blogging count as productive?  If so, we're easily in the top 67%.

9:21 - Biden is either really agreeable or REALLY REALLY tired.  The head nod is in full effect.

9:22 - Al Gores disagrees with your Internet comment, Mr. Obama

9:23 - Light bulbs, airplanes, Internet search engines, online people stalking.  American innovation at its best.

9:24 - "CTRL-X, CTRL-V"

9:25 - We always thought they told the new presidents that the moon landing was fake on the first day in office.  Guess Barack didn't get the "big reveal."  Does this mean he thinks there aren't aliens?

9:26 - In 2016, we'll have a million electric cars on the road with dead batteries.  Seriously, we can't even keep our cell phone charged.

9:28 - If Boehner's reaction to that clean energy thing is an indication, the R's don't seem like they'll be in a "working together" mood

9:29 - The winner of the science fair is a nerd.  Do they get invited to the White House to give the president a wedgie with his name on it?

9:31 - Leave the children behind!!! CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!!!!!

9:33 - $10,000 for four years of college?  That should cover books, maybe

9:36 - Kerry and McCain on a man-date.  Wonder what they have to talk about?

9:37 - If you come here to get an education, you're not taking all that learning back to compete against us, we're sending your ass to Gitmo.

9:39 - Jobs building roads?  Where do we sign up!!

9:40 - This isn't about faster Internet, it's about more apps.  Forget farmers, we want "Angry Birds 3"

9:41 - Goddamn lawyers and their understanding of arcane tax laws!!  Kill em all. 

9:44 - Note to CNN - extended close-up shots of Waxman should be avoided at all costs.  Please.

9:45 - How do you get on the list of "people who get paraded around during the State of the Union"?

9:46 - Is it too much to hope that Obama is going to pull an Oprah and tell everyone to look under their coaches to find debt forgiveness certificates?  $4 billion dollars!!!!

9:47 - Wait, the worst of the recession is over?  Are we sure about that?

9:52 - FUCK THE RICH!!! FUCK THE RICH!!

9:54 - Smoked Salmon.  Never.  Not.  Funny.

9:56 - Joe Biden - "That's Right Bitches, No More Earmarks.  Suck it!!"

9:58 - Gratuitous shot of military person. Cue standing ovation.  If there's one thing all these asses can agree on it's that everybody loves to show they love the military.

9:59 - American Muslims are part of our family - seems like that should have gotten a 100% applause.   Guess we're not quite past that ignorance yet.

10:02 - With Chile on our side, we can't lose.  Love their big mouth burgers.

10:04 - Foreign policy ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

10:05 - Wake up people!! Time to support some more troops!!

10:06 - Welcome back from Afghanistan, here's your shovel, go build a road.

10:06 - Gays in the military - how is this controversial, again?

10:07 - If they don't want a bad story in the newspaper, they kill the reporter. 

10:08 - We wouldn't trade being American, but the French government doing our laundry does make it kind of tempting.

10:09 - Someone get Boehner a tissue.  He's a blubbering mess.

10:11 - 3 or 4 hour days - the true American dream.

10:13 - The Union is strong.  Kept us waiting on that one.  We were starting to get worried.
Goodnight Ladies and Gentlemen and remember - DO BIG THINGS!!